There was something to be said for the hopefulness of the sunset – glowing, bright, pinks, purples, whites, and blue – through the shit stained windshield that made Alissia feel a pang of wintery blues mixed with the comfort of a summer day. The ability to continue on through the day, making it the best day possible beamed like the setting sun. Even though Alissia loved the winter, and it was definitely winter, there was something about the association of hope with summer. Maybe it had been all the literary classes she had taken, but the sunshinning warmed her soul.

It had been good timing too. Alissia had had a shit day to end a shit week of an overall shit month. This didn’t mean Alissia was whiny or unhappy. Quite the opposite, she loved her life and all of the people and things in it. She loved her job and her hobbies. She loved her dog, Jelly Bean! She was just having some trouble keeping control of her anger. Her blood boiling, skin constricting, full red face flush anger.

She had been attending therapy for months and months now. She had been doing really well. Except when she was driving. Driving amongst idiots who didn’t deserve to have licenses, and in some cases eyeballs. Driving in these shit conditions at the end of a shit day to end a shit week of an overall shit month. Alissia was sure that her entire month hadn’t been shitty, but at the moment she felt like her entire life was one repetitive, continuous kidney punch. Her knuckles throbbed white as her grip on her steering wheel intensified.

If only the car in front of her would go the speed limit. If they could just go the speed limit she would be able to get around them without debating whether or not she should clip their car on her way around. Alissia looked out her window again. The icicle covered mountain appeared like a life-like picture against the blue sky stained with gray clouds and pink and purple tinting. Breathing in Alissia pulled her anger up and forward. She held it there until she passed the mountain. Exhaling she looked back out her window. The glowing sun looked like warm honey erupting through the sky. She was no longer angry at that driver. She had taken it in, processed it like the elements the air she breathed, breaking it down, and letting it go. The car in front of her didn’t matter.

Just like the rest of the cars on the road, or her co-worker, or the woman from the home owners association. Deep breath in.Stupid-gold-car-in-front-of-me. Hold. It-is-inconsequential-two-minutes-delay-won’t-kill-me. Slow exhale. This-moment-will-pass-I-love-my-life. Repeat: deep breath in. Moronic-girl-at-work-who-can’t-do-shit. Hold. You-have-no-bearing-on-my-job-I-can-work-around-your-stupidity. Slow exhale. This-moment-will-pass-I-love-my-life. Repeat.

On and on Alissia went through the processing of breathing out her anger. She could control her anger. It wouldn’t control her. She had birthed her impulsive anger by keeping quiet. At least that’s what the therapy had uncovered. She hadn’t realized how or when it had happened until she had reached her eighth new side mirror, her sixth new phone, and her second wooden bat. Thankfully her father had worked for a car dealership. While she hadn’t lived at home for years, her father noticed the ongoing issue and said if she didn’t attend therapy, she would have to start paying for mirrors, full price, including labor. She had been livid when he told her. The shin-level hole in the wall had been testament to that, but afterward she dealt with it. She had agreed that while she had never hurt herself or someone else, she did need to get some type of handle on herself.

Now, after months and months and months of trying, Alissa’s relationship was infinitely better than before, she had Jelly Bean, she was more productive at work, and was able to deal with fucktwats like this moron next to her driving an oversized SUV also under the speed limit, but not slow enough for her to move or, nor fast enough for her to get ahead. Deep breath in…

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